March 2006

Editor's Note: Do Your Nearest Duty

I recently listened to an inspiring audio book, Why Courage Matters: The Way to a Braver Life, by John McCain with Mark Salter (Random House, 2004). The men and women profiled exhibited monumental courage; among them are a Medal of Honor winner, a Nobel Peace Prize laureate, a civil rights leader and a WWII resistance fighter. For some, there was “one mad moment” of heroism; for others, it was “a long hard road” of commitment in the face of long opposition.

The people are not extraordinary in and of themselves. They are “ordinary individuals who have risked everything to defend the people and principles they hold most dear.”

McCain’s question was this: How did these ordinary people come to the place where they were able to exhibit extraordinary courage?

To the extent that we ever can understand it, McCain concludes that such courage has its roots in the teaching – and more importantly the modeling – of parents to develop character. “We have to live in such a way that the character is there when the moment comes.”

The writers admit that it’s harder to teach our children courage today because in our easy society, there is so little need for it. One way we can do it is to model honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable or painful. Another is to teach our children to go beyond personal anger at their own wrongs to a sense of outrage when others are treated unjustly or cruelly. When we act to defend the dignity of others, that is courage.

The phrase that stuck with me has been used by other philosophers and theologians before McCain and Salter: “Do your nearest duty.” This is the small act of courage near at hand. It may not be easy to teach our children this because it may bring them unhappiness or loss of popularity, which our society trains us to deem most important. For example, if a friend of our child’s is cruel to another child, we agree that they should empathize with the victim, but do we tell them to confront the bully, even if he or she is popular?

This month’s feature on parents who turn anger into advocacy perfectly exemplifies “doing your nearest duty.” The parents profiled are ordinary people who faced personal problems involving their families – one hated expressing breast milk in a crowded break room at work; the other faced the horror of almost losing her son to anaphylactic shock when he had an allergic reaction to eggs. Neither had experience with confronting people or pushing their viewpoint on lawmakers, but both moved beyond the concerns of their own families to stand up for all families in similar positions and to work for societal and legislative change. That took courage.

As more and more of our schools incorporate community service into their curricula, students are learning to “do their nearest duty” and to reach out to others. In the years I’ve been with Puget Sound Parent, we’ve received dozens of accounts of children taking their own initiative to help the homeless or needy, those hurt in natural disasters, or the environment.

McCain and Salter have a word of encouragement to parents and educators who are modeling courage and commitment to children: “Moral courage or resolve is strengthened by practice.” It’s certainly something to aspire to.

Things to Do

We know many of you turn to Puget Sound Parent for things to do. This month, we show you where to go to satisfy your child’s curiosity about “Boats, Planes, Cars and Trains.” Find reading suggestions in a new column, “Puget Sound Parent Recommends” and find 69 events and exhibits – not counting repeat performances, kids’ classes and parent education – in our March Calendar. Looking ahead to summer activities, you can visit with representatives of dozens of camps and enrichment programs at our annual Camp & Summer Learning Fair March 4, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Center House at Seattle Center.

Happy Spring.

Wenda Reed
Editor

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Northwest Parent Media
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